Bereavement Counselling In London
After the death of a loved one, few of us are fully prepared for the emotions that follow a bereavement. . . shock, numbness, anger, depression.
Bereavement, Grief & Loss are part of a natural life cycle
At some point, in most people’s lives, we face the agony of losing someone incredibly important to us. Bereavement Counselling gives you the space and time to mourn your loss and understand the feelings and experiences that have surfaced.
However, grief and mourning are not emotions reserved just for those that have suffered the death of someone but can be felt when we lose something important and significant to us, the ending of a friendship or relationship, leaving work and colleagues upon retirement or even moving from a home we have loved and cherished.
Symptoms Of Grief and Loss
What are some of the feelings and experiences you may be dealing with after a bereavement or loss?
- Shock
- Numbness / feeling as though in a daze
- Denial
- Feeling abandoned
- Overwhelming sadness
- Crying, at times uncontrollably or seemingly without end
- Pain
- Anger
- Guilt
- Depression
- Longing
- Having to cope with others reactions – having to comfort others through your own grief
- Adapting
- Looking to the future
- Physical exhaustion
This NHS page on coping with bereavement sums it well when it says that bereavement can be like waves on a beach; at times, you can feel as though you are coping, and then suddenly the grief engulfs you and you feel consumed with it:
https://www.nhs.uk/livewell/bereavement/pages/coping-with-bereavement.aspx
One of the main things to remember is that all the above feelings are normal, including those that are perceived as negative.
Often those who are bereaved can become anxious, worried or depressed that they are having these feelings and thoughts, concerned that some of them are not ‘normal’ or that they are ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ to be experiencing these emotions. The reality is that it is normal to feel all sorts of things, and that anger, frustration, guilt etc. are all part of it.
How does bereavement counselling work?
Therapy for your grief helps you work through the stages of mourning and to come to terms with the loss.
Bereavement counselling is a space where you can talk about the person you have lost . . . Most importantly it is space to talk about and explore your feelings for that person without the worry about judgement from the individual you are speaking to, or without worrying that you are going to upset that person.
A space to talk and space to allow yourself to ‘be’
Sometimes it can be a space to not talk about the person specifically, but about other things that have been impacted by the death for example our other relationships or our work.
It can be a space to talk about how the death and the grief affected you . . . Perhaps you have been shocked by the impact, or worried about certain feelings that have surfaced.
How long does it take to Grieve?
There is also no ‘normal’ or specific time frame for grief to occur and for seeking bereavement counselling.
Your grief could be months or even years after the death, or perhaps just days or weeks following a very recent experience.
It does not matter, the right time to come to bereavement counselling is the time when you feel you want to talk about anything connected to it.
Therapy for Mourning & Grieving Following the Loss, Ending or Break-up of Something Significant in your life – A relationship, Your Career or Other Life Event
Grief can be experienced in relation to things that people often would not associate with a bereavement. For example, the ending of a relationship can bring about feelings and behaviours related to feelings of loss. Although an individual has not died, there has been a death of another kind, and thus feelings and experiences are similar.
This can be the case even if the relationship was abusive and / or you were unhappy in it or know for this or other reasons that the ending of it was the right thing . . . Knowing this does not mean you do not also feel, and are therefore coping with, feelings of loss connected to ending of the relationship. It is perfectly okay and normal to still feel a sense of loss and experience the grief of the ending. It is not bad to grieve a relationship and is normal to experience these feelings.
Often this grief is connected to the loss of ‘ideas’ or ‘plans’ . . . Perhaps of what the relationship was going to be or who you were because of the relationship. Plans and ideas for the future are also lost. The important thing here is that this becomes an adjustment and a transition. You and your future are not lost, but part of working through the pain of the grief is adjusting and transitioning to your new life . . . both in the present and the future without that person.
Grief and Bereavement Counselling in London
If you are experiencing emotions of grief, following a death, or you are morning the loss of something important in your life, take the first steps to help you to understand your feelings and come to terms with your loss, Contact Rachel to talk about Bereavement Counselling.
